Thomas the Tank Engine meets Drake
Here is the transcript to The Wedding, the third episode of the fourth season and the fortieth episode overall of Thomas the Tank Engine meets Drake & Josh. Transcript episode starts out with Josh lifting weights and Drake on his phone listening to music Josh: So, me and Drake have this great Aunt Catherine. Drake: Have you ever met my great Aunt Catherine? No? Well, hey, lucky you. Josh: She's almost 90 years old. Drake: She's like 90 thousand years old. Josh: She's not nice! Drake: She is mean! Mean to the bone! Josh: Something's not right about Aunt Catherine. Drake: She collects hair, from people she doesn't even know well! Josh: Oh, and get this... Drake and Josh: (in unison) Aunt Catherine's getting married. Josh: I mean, who wants to get married to 89 years old? Drake: You know, Josh and I disagree on a lot of stuff. But I bet he hates Aunt Catherine just as much as I do. Josh: I wonder if Drake hates Aunt Catherine just as much as I do? it shows they're both in the same room as Josh turns to Drake Josh: Do you? Drake: Totally! the arrow slides in and cuts to the house, and it does so again and it shows Drake putting a hot dog in a bun Percy: Oh, I love weddings! Don't you guys? Buttercup: No! 'Cause I have to wear this stupid wedding dress and I look like a dork! Lita Kino/Sailor Jupiter: Yeah! And this is the wedding to the meanest old lady in the world. Tiger: One time we visited her, she slapped me in the face! Percy: Okay, okay, so not all weddings are grand. Barney: But if we arrive on time, we get to keep that awesome beach house of her's! giggles a car honks Drake: Oh, Walter. to the door and opens it as the car's still honking Walter, cool it with the horn! honk Mom, Megan, would you get down here before Walter's head explodes? and Megan soon come down stairs Audrey: Oh, Drake, you don't need a hot dog wearing a tuxedo! Drake: This hot dog's not wearing a tuxedo. Audrey: Haha. Oh, Megan can you zip up my dress, please? Megan: Sure. it up Audrey: Thank you, her hand now let me fix your hair. Megan: Ew, I don't want Mom's spit in my hair! Audrey: Yes, you do! Craig and Eric soon arrive at the door Craig: Knock, knock! It's Craig and Eric. Audrey: Sorry boys, we're going to a wedding. Eric: Oh, we're just here to pick up something from Josh. Megan: Josh, your geeks are here! Josh (from upstairs): I'll be down in a minute! Audrey: her earring (gasps) Oh, my earring broke?! Toad: There's superglue in the kitchen, Mrs. Audrey. Audrey: Megan by the wrist as they go to the kitchen to glue the earring Come on, help me glue it! Megan: Okay! Craig: Who's getting married? Drake: Our great Aunt Catherine. Eric: Isn't she like eighty-seven? Drake: Eighty-nine. She's got this insane beach house in Laguna Niguel, so it's majorly important that she loves us. Luna: But deep down, she just really hates us. (sighs) honks Donald: Oh, great. Walter's honking' again. and Megan come to the door Audrey: We're coming! Megan: Lay off the horn, Walter! Audrey: Drake, come here. comes up Audrey: We are counting on you, Josh, Thomas, and the others to get to this wedding on time with the wedding cake. Drake: We'll be there. Audrey: Cause if you guys are late, Aunt Catherine will be very upset, and as her family, we need to make sure that this wedding day goes perfectly. Drake: Since when did you like Aunt Catherine? Audrey: I don't, but she's not gonna live forever. And I want that beach house! Megan: Yeah, so none of your screw-ups. Drake: Well. Thomas: Will you just chill? Gordon: Yeah, we'll be there on time. honks Audrey: Come on baby. Okay, okay! Megan: Enough with the horn! Drake: Women. Craig: Yeah, women are crazy. Eric: That's why me and Craig don't have girlfriends. Raye Hino/Sailor Mars: I think there's a lot of reasons why you guys don't have girlfriends. Craig: We know. Eric: at his watch Oh, we better go, the observatory closes at 9 PM! Craig: Oh yeah! Josh! Josh: My zipper's stuck! Oh! Bubbles: What do you guys need? Craig: Josh said we can borrow his laptop. Eric: Because somebody spilled buttermilk on mine! Craig: I tried to fix it, I swapped your keyboard for hours! Drake: Josh's Laptop case Look, look, here's his laptop right here, just take it. gives it to the nerds and escorts them out the door Eric: He, tell Josh I'll bring this back to him..... Drake slams the door on his face and Eric rings the doorbell and Drake opens it Mina Aino/Sailor Venus: Now what do you want? Eric: Can I have a band-aid for my nose? Drake closes the door, and the intro starts playing. Soon it goes to the house as the arrow goes through and it shows Drake and the others getting impatient Drake: Josh, would you get down here? We're gonna be late for the wedding! Oh, come on! turns back around and Josh arrives in his wedding outfits and Drake turns around and screams in his face Drake: JOSH!! startles him, that Josh knocks over a lamp and breaks it, but he puts it back on Serena Tsukino/Sailor Moon: It's about time. Rini/Sailor Mini Moon: Yeah, come on, let's go already. Josh: Why are you in such a hurry? Drake: 'Cause we want Aunt Catherine's beach house, bad! Josh: Yeah, so do I''! Drake: Well then we ''can't be late for the wedding. And we have to pick up the cake. Olivia Flaversham: Yeah, so let's get a move on! Hamtaro: Yeah, let's get going! Josh: Guys, we've got plenty of time alright? Just as long as we get to the bakery.... looks at the couch Hey, have you seen my laptop case? I thought I left it right here. Drake: Yeah, we gave it to Craig and Eric. Josh: You... you what?! pulls Drake to him Darien Shields/Tuxedo Mask: They said they wanted to borrow it. Josh: Yes, it was cool for them to borrow my computer, but why did you give them the whole case? It had my cell phone in it, and my keys to Mom's SUV! Now, we have no car! Drake: Well, I'll just call Craig and Eric and tell them to come back. (Goes to the phone ready to call them) Josh: No, no, we can't. They don't have cell phones. Drake: Why? Josh: Cause Papa Nichols threw Eric's against the wall and broke it, and Craig's mom thinks Cell Phones cause ear sores! Drake: Well, Craig does get a lot of ear sores. Josh: Look, we cannot be late to this wedding! Gordon: I know! We use ourselves to get to the wedding and you can ride on us. Henry: I don't know, Gordon. Because the last thing Aunt Catherine needs is coal dust all over the cake. Gordon: Oh, yeah. Toad: Well, can we load the cake in me? Duck: That won't work either. The cake will only splatter if we loaded it in you Toad. There's no way to keep it steady. Drake: Trevor! Edward: The tractor engine? Drake: No, not that Trevor! My friend, Trevor! Josh: What about Trevor? Drake: We'll borrow his car. Neville: Wait, I thought his girlfriend sleeps in it. Drake: Nah, they broke up. She sleeps in some other guy's car now. Josh: I don't wanna go to a wedding in Trevor's El Camino, it's old, and gross. Drake: So is Aunt Catherine. Josh: Drake... Drake: Dude! It runs, and the wedding cake will fit in the back, the most important thing is, it'll get us there on time. Thomas: Okay, fine. Serena Tsukino/Sailor Moon: Yeah, call Trevor. soon dials the number, and the arrow cuts to the car in the middle of nowhere and it stops as Drake tries to start it, but it will not Drake: It won't start. Josh: Oh, really? get out of the car and stand beside it Josh: Well, the good news is right near of nothing! Drake: Okay, how was I suppose to know Trevor's car would break down, huh? Josh: It was built in the 1970s! It has over three-hundred thousand miles on it! Anyone with a second grader is a cliche to get it with down! Drake: You are so mean to me sometimes! Cody: Come on guys, this is no time for your stupid arguments! Abby: Yeah, Cody's right. We can't be late to Aunt Catherine's wedding! Josh: Yeah, Edward and Abby are right. We promised Mom and Dad (looks at his watch) and if we're not there in 48 minutes, there's no way we'll ever get that beach house! Drake: Alright, we'll just call for help. Gimme your cell phone. Josh: My cell phone was in my bag, which you gave to Craig and Eric! Neville: Wait a minute. Drake, do you have your cell phone? Drake: Yeah, well it got ruined. Kipper: Ruined? How? Drake: You know. Fell in a bowl at soup at school. Pig: Who accidentally drops their cell phone into their soup? Drake: It wasn't an accident. I wanted to see if it will float. Douglas: You put your phone in a bowl of soup just to see if it float?! Josh: Douglas is right, how do you even get dressed by yourself?! Drake: Alright, look. You wanna play "pick on Drake", or you wanna figure out of we're gonna get to this wedding on time? Neville: How are we gonna do that if we can't call for help? It's fourteen miles to the next gas station. Bubbles: Can't we just push the car to the gas station? Buttercup: That will take too long. We need to get to the wedding now! Drake: Look, maybe I can fix the motor. Amara Tenoh/Sailor Uranus: What do you know about fixing car engines? Josh: You can't fix a sandwich! Drake: If you make fun of me one more time, I'm gonna tell everyone we know that you named your favorite pillow: "Mr. Puff Puff". Josh: Sorry I offended. Drake: Alright, well let's check under the hood. Josh: Okay. Blossom: This is only gonna get worse, I know it. Oliver: Come on you guys, let's just give Drake a chance. Luna: That's what we're afraid of. Drake opens the hood and it shows the motor Drake: Well, there's the motor. Josh: Yes, lot of metal there. Drake: Lot of metal. he notices something Hey uh, hey I think I see the problem. Amy Anderson/Sailor Mercury: Really? Drake: Yeah, look here. it out Josh: Oh, yeah, yeah, that belt came off. Drake: Uh-huh. So what do we do about it? Min: At this point, it would be better to have replaced this car. But in our case, we try and find a way to put it back. Josh: Yeah, Min's right. Here uh, I'll put this belt back on this pulley thing, and when I say "go" you try to start it. Drake: Alright, cool. Stepney: Just be careful Josh, don't lose your fingers. when Drake gets in the car he starts it, and Josh's arm gets caught Josh: Oh! Hold on! Wait a minute, I didn't say "go"! No, hold on I didn't say "go"! Ah! Hold on! Mina Aino/Sailor Venus: Drake, what are you doing? Stop it! Lita Kino/Sailor Jupiter: Yeah, knock it off! Josh gets free but his jacket's still in the engine and starts sucking it in Josh: Ah! Eh, no, no, no! grabs it and tries to pull it out by straining James: Drake, seriously! This isn't funny! Percy: Yeah, even I wouldn't go that far! Drake: Come on baby, come on. Thomas: his whistle DRAKE, STOP IT!!!!!!!! the engine jerks the jacket out of Josh's grip and Josh is shocked Josh: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! Drake: out the car Alright, the motor's running! Where's your jacket? Josh: IT ATE MY JACKET!!! Derek: Yeah, the one you sucked into the car, Drake! Drake: Well, at least we got the motor running. Josh: But, I gotta get my jacket back. Toby: Forget the jacket, Josh. It's probably already..... the car spits out the remains of Josh's jacket Toby: Ripped to shreds. Drake: I think that was your jacket. Josh: at Drake with an angry look Amara Tenoh/Sailor Uranus: Yes, it was. And thanks to you and your ignorance, Josh has no jacket left! Drake: (starts picking up the pieces and puts them on Josh's body trying to fix it) Let me see what I can do here. Josh: Oh, would you stop touching me?! (checks his watch) Man, we got 43 minutes till this wedding starts! Let's try and see if we can get this stupid motor running again. Drake: Right. Josh: (looks in the engine) Man, it's so dark in there I can barely see anything. Drake: I'll check the glove compartment, and see if Trevor has a flashlight in there. Josh: Oh, yeah good call. Drake: (tries to open the door but it won't open. And then Drake checks all of his pockets before he runs around to the other side and tries to open that door but it won't open either as he then slowly walks back up to Josh) Olivia Flaversham: Don't say it, you locked the keys in the car, didn't you? Drake: Don't hate me. Josh: We don't hate you. Brian: Yeah, we're just a little furious, but in the inside. Hamtaro: So you don't have to worry; for now. Josh notices something on the road and go picks it up Baby Bop: Josh, what are you doing? picks up a rock and hands it to Drake Josh: Here. Drake: What's this? Josh: Big rock. Drake: What do you want me to do with it? Josh: Kill me! Oliver: Josh, will you pull yourself together? Drake: Yeah, Oliver's right, I'm not gonna hit you in the head with a big rock! (throws the rock to the ground) Josh: (gets a pained look on his face) Drake: Did that hit your foot? Josh: Yeah, it's broken. Bubbles: Wait, wasn't that the same foot you dropped the barbell weight on? Josh: (pained) Yes. Drake: Sorry. Josh: (pained) It's okay. Drake: Man, I have to pee. Josh: Yeah, so do I. Professor Tinkerputt: Don't do it out here! Not in front of us, let alone the side of the road! Josh: Yeah, you're right Professor. Drake: Alright, well we're not gonna figure a way out of this when we're all full of urine, so let's go pee. Josh: Yeah. then spots something Oh, that cactus looks nice. Drake: Yeah, that's a good one. Come on. two head to the cactus Gordon: Wait, I don't wanna look at them peeing! Edward: Then let's cover them up so we don't have to see them. Barney: Good idea, Edward. Let's try that. Mina Aino/Sailor Venus: Wait! Shouldn't one of us stay behind in case somebody comes? Amy Anderson/Sailor Mercury: Don't worry, Mina. We'll be back before someone comes. Our luck will change. go follow Drake and Josh who are heading to the cactus. But as soon as they leave, a cop car comes up and the two cops come out of the car and walk over to the car Skinny cop: Looks like someone parked here illegally. Fat cop: I'll write them a ticket. Skinny cop: How come I never met your wife? Fat cop: Huh? Skinny cop: You know, we've been working together for like three years now and I think it's weird that you never let me meet your wife. Fat cop: Oh well, uh..... she's just uhm.... she's just shy. down the ticket Skinny cop: You're not really married, are ya? Fat cop: What?! Of course, I am! You can't just..... pretend to be married and not have a wife! I mean come on! What are you talking about? Skinny cop: Let me meet her. Fat cop: Alright, alright! the ticket out I'm not married! the ticket on the windshield There's no Marista! Skinny cop: a comforting shoulder on him You've made up Marista? Fat cop: Well no, there was a Marista in the ninth grade. I asked her at the school dance and she just..... she just laughed at me. Skinny cop: It's okay buddy. I understand. Fat cop: I feel so dumb! the two talk they walk to the car and enter it and start it up and drive away, just as the boys, the team, and their friends come back as they shout for them to stop and help Drake: Man I can't believe we've missed them! Mina Aino/Sailor Venus: I knew some of us should have stayed here in case another car was coming! Josh: a parking ticket And we've got a parking ticket! Drake: How much time do we have to get to the wedding? Josh: at his watch About half an hour. Marcella: Now what are we gonna do? Kipper: down the road Hey look, headlights! Another car's coming! shows the headlights and the car is coming as Drake and Josh wave hands as the engines blow their whistles and air horns to get the car's attention as the car pulls over and stops and two guys come out of the car Drake: Hey. Josh: Thank you so much for stopping. Guy #1: No problem. Guy #2: Where are you guys headed? Josh: To out Aunt Catherine's wedding. Thomas: But we really need your help, if we don't deliver that wedding cake in less than half an house, or we're in really big trouble. Guy #1: Well, did you call for help? Lita Kino/Sailor Jupiter: No, we don't have cellphones. Drake: But if you drive us to the nearest pay-phone, we'll give you $75 bucks. Josh: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. takes out his wallet and looks through it An extra forty. Drake: Alright that's almost a hundred bucks. Josh: Will you please drive us? Guy #1: Wait a minute so, you guys are stranded out here..... Guy #2: Flagging down strangers..... Guy #1: And you got no cellphones...... Guy #2: And it's just you guys..... Guy #1: Alone? Drake and Josh: Right. Barney: Why did you guys ask? the two guys turn to each other and they grab Josh's money and wallet and shove the two to the ground and then hop into their car and drive away as the boys get back up BJ: We've been mugged! goes to black and then it goes back to the guys still at the car Drake: How much time till the wedding starts? Josh: at his watch No less than fifteen minutes. No way we're gonna make it now. James: Hey guys, come on cheer up. If we're a little late, maybe Aunt Catherine won't be too mad. Olivia Flaversham: Yeah, you're right, she'll be furious, and we're never gonna get that beach house! Diana: Can we please stop it with the yelling? Pig: Yeah, it's not gonna help us. Drake: Man, it's getting cold out here. Josh: Hold on, I think I saw an old blanket in the back of the car. goes over to find the blanket but he finds something else Hey, hey guess what I found! Drake: Fried chicken?! Serena Tsukino/Sailor Moon: Chocolates?! Brian: Dog biscuits?! Josh: No. But.... takes out a tool box I did find a toolbox. drops it on the ground BJ: What a great find Josh! Baby Bop: Yeah, we can use those tools and get to the wedding in no time! Drake: So what are we gonna do with tools? Josh: We can use them to get us into the car that you looked us out of! Drake: Okay, just open the box. opens the box and he finds something Douglas: Anything good? Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah, an emergency kit! Drake: Yes! Seeing you always saying that Trevor's an idiot. Toby: Well, he is technically an idiot. Drake: Alright open it up, and see what's inside. Josh: Alright, I'm opening it. opens it up Okay, we have.... takes out a quarter A quarter, a can of salmon..... open, an ice tray, and half a shoe. Neville: Well, so much for our emergency supplies. Derek: That were completely useless. Drake: into the box Oh, guys a hanger! grabs the hanger and adjusts it Josh: How's a hanger gonna help us? Gordon: Yeah, a hanger won't do us any good. Drake: We use it to unlock the car. Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right! Gordon: Oh, I didn't think of that! puts the hanger through the window Drake: You see, you just put it over the window like this..... Edward: How did you learn how to do this? Drake: How do you think I've got the squirrel's out of Mrs. Haifer's car? Edward: Oh. Drake: Okay, almost there. Josh: Come on, come on, come on, your so close. Just a little to the left, a little to the left. Drake: Yeah, okay, I think I have it on the lock. Josh: Oh, okay, now what? Drake: No I just have to pull it back like this..... one he does it he pokes Josh's eye as Josh covers it Drake: Josh! drops the hanger Hotaru Tomoe/Sailor Saturn: Josh, are you alright?! Josh: Hotaru No! Drake Thank you for punching my pupil! Drake: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Tiger: Hey wait, another car's coming! Josh: up ahead Uh-huh, yeah, yeah, I can see it with my eye that's to Drake not bleeding! Drake: Look, let me see. takes the hand off of Josh's eye It's not bleeding. How's it feel? Josh: Oh, it-it-it feels a little like this. thumb's Drake's eye Drake: Ow! You thumb my eye! Josh: Yeah, no charge! Raye Hino/Sailor Mars: Morons. Drake: Oh! Dude, dude, it's a tow truck! Josh: Oh, finally something good happens! Cody: Well come on, let's make him stop! and Josh move the toolbox and the emergency kit out of the way and they wave for the tow truck to stop, and the tow truck pulls over and the repairman comes out Repairman: Hey there. Drake: Hi. Josh: Hey. repairman comes over and puts his hand on one of his eyes Repairman: Hello. Josh: No, no, no, you see our eyes..... Drake: Yeah, we've uh..... Josh: Uh, it doesn't matter. Drake: We are just really glad to see you! Repairman: Yeah, looks like you guys could use a tow. Lucky for you, I've got ten of them. as the boys and our heroes look at him with confused faces Darien Shields/Tuxedo Mask: What? Repairman: It's just a joke we truck drivers say. Josh: chuckles Anyway umm, could you tow us to the nearest garage? Drake: Hey, forget the garage, can you tow us to the first Priestperterium church at Shavy Grove Rode? Amara Tenoh/Sailor Uranus: Yeah, we're late for a wedding. Repairman: Oh, wedding huh? So uhh, which one of you's gonna be the bride and which one's the groom? laughs Michelle Kaioh/Sailor Neptune: It's not like that. Josh: So could you please just tow us? Repairman: Sure, sure, I just need to see your car registrations. puts on a glove Josh: Oh. Drake: sighs Josh: It's probably in the glove compartment. Drake: And we kinda locked the keys in the car. Josh: We? Amy Anderson/Sailor Mercury: There's only one idiot who could have done that. Drake: Can you just open our door? Repairman: Yeah, yeah. Shouldn't be any problem at all. walks to his truck and he picks up a hammer This oughta do the trick. smashes the car window Brian: Well, we could have thought of that! Repairman: Well, why didn't ya? laughs Brian: Alright, that's it. goes to fist punch him Trtista Meioh/Sailor Pluto: Hey! holds him back What's the big deal?! Come on, we can easily get into the car now. Josh: Yeah, and besides, the important thing is that guy will tow us to the wedding. Brian: Alright, fine. Josh: the repairman Alright, I'll get the registration. Repairman: Alright then. goes to get the registration as Drake goes right beside the repairman and he looks at his name Drake: Leslie's Towing Company, huh? Repairman: Yeah. I've been in the towing business for twenty-three years. Drake: So uh, who's Leslie your wife? Repairman: No. Leslie's my name. Drake bursts into laughter Leslie: Something funny about that? Drake: Well yeah I mean, Leslie's a girl's name. Leslie: Oh is that what you think? Josh: Uh, what my brother meant to say was: we don't think Leslie's a girl's name. We think it's a guy's name dude, a man's name. A word man's name. Thomas: Yeah, we think Leslie's a man's name too, don't we guys? Everyone: (in unison) Yeah, uh-uh, that's right. Drake: No, it's not! Leslie's totally..... Josh: Silence! Leslie: Listen, boy. I was named after my father, he was named after his father, and they both fought in wars! Drake: Okay, all I'm saying is that I've dated like five Leslie's. All girls. Percy: Drake, shut up! Leslie: Okay, uh... you know, I tell you what, you can rot in a sack for all I care. Goodbye! goes to his truck Josh: No! gets on his knees No, no, no, no, please, wait, don't leave! Seiya Kou/Sailor Star Fighter: Yeah, please! We need to get to this wedding on time, we're desperate! Leslie: Rot in a sack! closes his car door and drives away as Josh gets back on his feet and looks at Drake as the others stare at him too Josh: You had to make fun of the man's name?! Blossom: Nice going big mouth! Mina Aino/Sailor Venus: Once we get back home, I'm gonna kill you! Drake: Well, at least we can get in the car now, maybe we can get it started. Josh: We already tried that! Cody: And it didn't work! Drake: Well, let's try it again, alright? Josh: Fine. goes to the car Drake: I'll look under the hood and see if I can figure out what the problem is. gets in the car and closes the door Drake: Alright, go. starts the car and there was a clanking noise Drake: Okay, stop, stop! I think I see what the problem is, come here. gets out of the car and goes to Drake Michelle Kaioh/Sailor Neptune: You sure you figured out what the problem is? Drake: Yeah. You see, when you turned the key and it was trying to start, that thing was hitting against that thing. Josh: Oh, that thing there? Drake: Yeah, yeah, you see those three wires right there? Josh: Yeah. Drake: I think they've got pulled loose when that thing was knocked into that thing. Artemis: So we just need to reconnect those wires and pull that metal thing back. Drake: Right. leans over and reconnects the wires and pulls the metal thing back Drake: There! Josh: Let's give it a shot! Drake: Right. Olivia Flaversham: You think it'll work this time? Professor Tinkerputt: One way to find out. and Josh enter the car Drake: Cross your fingers! Josh: Oh, I'm crossing everything I've got! Drake: Alright. starts the car and it roars into life Yes! Whoo! Luna: It lives! Josh: Yes, looks at his watch okay, okay, okay, we've missed the wedding ceremony, but if we hurry we can probably get the cake before it's time to cut it. Drake: Oh, which means Aunt Catherine's beach house will be ours! Josh: Yeah, baby! Hotaru Tomoe/Sailor Saturn: What are we waiting for? Let's go get that beach house! Duck: Then let's do it! then suddenly the motor spontaneously combusts as Drake and Josh get out of the car and notice this and they go outside and see it as the fire gets bigger, and soon the driver's seat erupts on fire and soon the back erupts into fire and so does the wedding cake Percy: Thomas? Thomas: Yeah? Percy: We're not getting that beach house, are we? Thomas: Yep. Percy: So we're just gonna walk straight to the wedding with no cake? Thomas: Yep. Percy: Alright. boys and our heroes turn around and just walk to the wedding as the car and the cake are on fire as the episode ends Category:Hiatt Grey Category:Transcripts Category:Thomas the Tank Engine meets Drake & Josh Category:Thomas' Adventures Series